


the real hero is the crush we got along the way

by zerotransfat



Category: Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Comedy, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Fluff, Gen, Gender-Neutral Character, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Oblivious, Supernatural Elements, The entire class laments that fact that Midoriya is so oblivious, Their worldview isn't exactly geared toward that kind of thing so you can't blame them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2019-08-19 13:57:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16535870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zerotransfat/pseuds/zerotransfat
Summary: Midoriya Izuku grows up with a body as malleable as clay, and a soul as old as the first legend humanity ever recorded.Class 1-A doesn't really know about their new classmate's history and emotional baggage. They are more concerned about the fact that their classmate is so stupidly pretty the entire class is infatuated with them.(Aizawa wants to sleep for a year.)





	1. lion cub

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this lying around in my hard drive for months now. I don't know what I'm doing.

 

The facts: once upon a time, there was a weapon, a chain made by the gods to rein in a wayward lynchpin of heaven. It had set out to do its duty, but along the way it got to know its target and, depending on who’s telling the story, either sympathized too much with the King of Uruk, or fell in love with him—

That part of the story was not important, not to the two central figures in it. What was truly important was the fact that the two of them forged an eternal bond—to the king, the chain was his first friend, his equal; he would forever be the most exquisite treasure, his only friend. _Thus, for eternity, your value shall never change._ For the chain it was the same. Equals, in all the ways that mattered.

But then, the gods grew angry—their perfect plans have gone awry, their machinations have derailed, their creations have spurned them. They struck down the chain, sealed away its soul, and left the king to mourn the loss of his friend. Deeply affected by his equal’s death, the king set off on an ultimately futile quest for immortality, the stuff of legend. In fact, the stuff of the very _first_ legend.

Like all legends, however, it faded with the passing of time. To most, the story is just that—a story, only living between the dusty pages and ruined tablets of academia.

For a single soul, a single soul that escaped its prison for the first time in millennia after the fading of the gods, the _story_ was painfully raw and visceral to the heart. When Midoriya Inko held her child for the first time, there was a sadness in their gold eyes even as they took their first breaths again and cried, the wails seeming to pierce through the hospital ward in unheard grief.

In that moment, Enkidu mourned for their friend in return, and a strange second life began.

 

* * *

 

Midoriya Izuku was a strange boy.

He didn't exactly loathe being inside, but his love for nature far outstripped his indifference for the indoors. Inko recalled with fondness how he would toss and fuss as an infant until she brought him outside. As soon as he could walk he would run out in the woods; for some reason, he absolutely _despised_ shoes, and would go around stubbornly barefoot save when Inko demanded it of him but in an indulgent sort of fashion. He also refused to have haircuts.

He was _wild_ , in the way people usually aren’t anymore. Oh, you could make him sit down, make him come inside, make him brush his forest-green hair that was steadily growing longer and longer, but he was wild at heart. The animals (what remained of them in the sparse woods in the city outskirts, anyway) all seemed to sense it. They had no fear of him, and for most of Izuku’s life they were his best friends. He had no friends that were human, not even the other kids in the neighbourhood.

As he grew older, this made Inko more and more concerned, but Izuku didn’t seem to mind. To him, the forest was shelter and sanctuary, provider and friend all in one—why on earth would he need more? He would come home, clothes muddied and hair tangled with twigs and leaves, but he would come home _happy_ , as if some sort of invisible need had been lifted from her son. So Inko didn't say anything and merely started buying extra strength detergent.

They stayed that way, in an odd sort of stasis, wild and not wild, not content, but happy. And then her son started kindergarten.

 

* * *

 

“This must be a mistake on their end,” Inko said the night before Izuku started his first day of school, distressed. “They gave us the girls’ uniform!” She lifted the white sailor fuku from the living room couch with dismay, the pleats of the skirt swaying from the motion.

Izuku tilted his head to look at her, gold eyes curious. “And what’s wrong with that?”

“Izuku, they sent you the girls’ uniform. I put you down as male on all your forms! You can’t wear a girls’ uniform on your first day to kindergarten!”

“I really don’t understand the problem at hand here. I’m not a girl or a boy, so does it really matter which uniform I wear?” Inko’s jaw dropped a little, and she stared at her son, who only looked back at her with a calmness she didn’t feel after having that surprising information sprung on her.

“I think that’s okay, if you’re okay with that then,” she said faintly, and that night typed _no gender term_ into her web browser, biting her lip.

She looked at the pages and pages of results, and clicked one that looked reasonable ( _Genderqueer: A Guide for Parents_ ) and got to reading. Midoriya Inko would try her hardest for her child not matter what, come hell or high water.

This holds true for every world, and so it is.

 

* * *

 

Izuku stuck out like a sore thumb in kindergarten.

For one, no one else had their vivid colouring or hair as long as they did. Anyone could tell that they were going to grow up not just pretty, but beautiful; but everyone could tell that it would be the kind of beauty that would unsettle the heart, the kind of paradoxical beauty that made you uncomfortable, threatening even. It was the irrational fear one felt when they see an exquisite doll; the turmoil of seeing something so close, so _close_ to human, and yet was _not—_ that tended to make people distinctly uneasy. It didn’t matter what they dressed in; they switched between the male and female uniform with the changes in their whims and no one said a single word about it and just stayed away.

_Not human,_ their collective minds all whispered. _Not human._

Suffice to say, Midoriya Izuku was simply admired from afar. Admired, but never approached. They didn't seem to mind, even as their teachers sighed and put down little "Needs Work" stickers on the "Making Friends" section in their report cards.

Until one day, a new kid transferred into Miss Ogawa's class and smashed all the unspoken rules into pieces.

Bakugou Katsuki was a impetuous, arrogant, hot-tempered kid. He was blessed with quick wits, physical strength, and a powerful quirk. People surrounding him tended to like him, despite his abrasive personality. He was quick to laugh and quick to anger, his red eyes sparking with emotion.

Midoriya Izuku was drawn in immediately. In fact, you could say that he was just their type.

 

* * *

 

"Hey, what are you doing just lying here?!" the person blocking out Izuku's sunlight said, and they groaned as it got chillier. 

In their sleep-blurred eyes, all they saw through the shadows of the tree branches was blond hair.

Their brain went: "gold=lion, small body=cub, cub mane!" and so they reacted accordingly.

Their arms snaked around the figure, and with a tug, pulled the other person into a lying position as well.

"Yosh, yosh yosh," they muttered, and gently ruffled the lion cub's mane until it fell asleep. Then, they fell asleep too under the warm spring sunshine.

Later, Miss Ogawa, panicked out of her mind, found two of her students fast asleep beneath a tree.

 

* * *

 

 

Soon, the two trouble children of Miss Ogawa's class were practically inseparable. If you wanted to find one, you just had to track the other down.

Little Bakugou spent months drawing one thing, and one thing only. Two figures (one wearing a dress) holding hands, always in foreground. When questioned, he would get weirdly flushed and threaten to blow you up.

Izuku drew nothing but animals the way they usually did, but the frequency of a lion cub with a wild mane and red eyes appearing in their scribblings drastically increased. Nobody questioned them, and Izuku just kept on drawing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **MIDORIYA IZUKU as ENKIDU:**  
>   
>  This isn't really a full-on chapter fic, but it's going to be more like snapshots about a different character meeting Izuku and realizing that _oh fuck they're hot_. I also cannot promise they will be in chronological order.
> 
> Also, since I'm not genderqueer myself I may make mistakes with Izuku, so please don't hesitate to say something if I get something wrong! (Although the original Nasuverse wasn't really super in-depth with this aspect of Enkidu anyway.)
> 
> Next Chapter: Shinsou goes to pet cats and finds someone there before him.


	2. career counselling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hero Academia is actually just Daily Lives of High School Boys with superheroes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I was going to do a Shinsou drabble. I lied. 
> 
> Instead, you get this nonsense with Class 3-A (AKA the most troublesome homeroom class ever).

“Aizawa-sensei, what is the point of us filling out career forms anyway?” Sero asked. “I mean, we’re already here. We’re graduating in six months! Most of us already have spots lined up with agencies.”

“While I can’t wait until you problem children are out of my hands, the Ministry of Education needs these on file. Just fill in ‘entering hero agency’ or something, make sure it’s honest and accurate. Because it’s official paperwork, take this seriously. Someone hand this out to Midoriya on the tree outside, and no one fall out the window. I don't want to deal with Recovery Girl on my case again, thanks.” Aizawa waved a hand before crawling back into his sleeping bags. Within seconds, he was asleep.

 

* * *

 

“Alright, after you’ve finished filling out the forms pass them forward.” Aizawa said. He was visibly twitching from lack of sleep, looking more deranged than he usually did. The ten minute nap hadn’t really helped.

There was palpable tension in the room as the sound of rustling paper gradually stopped, a messy pile of papers ending up on his desk.

A pause. “You guys better have taken this seriously,” Aizawa said. 

A room full of thousand-yard stares answered him. No one even blinked.

With a rising sense of dread, the beleaguered homeroom teacher of 3-A straightened the stack of papers. “Just to make sure, I’m going to check them right now.”

 

* * *

  

 **_Plan:_ ** _Become a student in Class 1-A._

 

Eraserhead resisted the urge to bang his head on his desk. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “See, this is what I’m talking about. This…this is why my doctor cries at night. You problem children are driving my blood pressure up the wall! Please take this seriously!” 

 

* * *

 

 **_Plan:_ ** _A frog doesn’t need society’s approval._

 

“I was under the impression that I was teaching a class of children, not half-wild beasts! If you’re a frog then go live in a pond!”

 

* * *

 

 ** _Plan:_ ** _Work for a haunted house and be a ghost._

 

“If you wanna be a ghost, then die. Just die.”

 

* * *

 

 ** _Plan:_ ** _Marry Midoriya._

 

“Why are there fifteen of these with the exact same goal?! I’m certain Midoriya doesn’t really know or care about regular matrimony but I’m pretty sure polygamy is illegal in Japan!”

 

* * *

 

 **_Plan:_ ** _I don’t want to work for my dad. I’m marrying Midoriya._

 

“Then _DON’T WRITE ANYTHING!_ ” 

 

* * *

  

**_Plan:_ ** _Live in the woods, occasionally showing up whenever something interesting happens._

 

Uraraka tilted her head. “Aizawa-sensei, why didn’t you get mad at that one?”

“Midoriya’s the only one who is serious about this. While I may be on the verge of passing out due to the stress their plan is giving me, it’s better than all of the others. At least he was honest.”

Todoroki paused, and then raised his hand, his face still in his iconic deadpan look. “Sensei, I’m serious about marrying Midoriya.”

“I know, and I don’t care at this point. I’m going back to sleep. If anyone wakes me up, I have capture tape and I’m not afraid to use it.”

“Oh good! I wanted to ask—and Midoriya’s already gone. Damn, they jumped out the window again didn’t they?” Todoroki muttered. Without another word, he grabbed his school bag and climbed out of the window as well. Nobody gave him a second look; the routine got old the first ten times.

Even Iida just kind of shrugged. He was resigned to this type of thing by now.

“Is anyone going tell Aizawa-sensei that class is already over? Aizawa-sensei, please go home. We understand the stress of herding the next generation of heroes, but Present Mic-sensei is going to think you passed out due to low blood sugar again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch that. I guarantee you will NOT be disappointed. I imagine Aizawa's exasperated yelling to be like Archer's voice from F/SN (Junichi Suwabe jokes ahoy), especially the bit where he goes "THEN DROWN IN YOUR IDEALS AND DIE" except the context is his dumbass students, rip sleepy teacher man
> 
> Write in the comments who you think wrote which life plan, including the fifteen that wanted to marry Izuku


	3. the cat returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Shinsou has a Meet Cute straight out of a Miyazaki movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Years!
> 
> Got Illyasviel off guaranteed gacha and then Benienma, so apparently 2019 is not the Year of the Pig but Year of the Loli.
> 
> Therefore, I will compensate from my future misfortune in rolling by writing more Enkidu!Izuku.

Shinsou hadn’t been back in this city for more than three days, and already he could tell it wasn’t going well, no matter how much his parents tried to hide their worries.

Sixth months away didn’t change anything.

School was…not great. Nobody would even talk to him as soon as they heard about his quirk, and with rumours as they were―

The only things that kept him going was the rage blazing inside his chest, the yearning to prove everyone who whispered about him under their breaths wrong, the way his parents loved him through thick and thin, and cats. Cats were at once complicated and yet the most straightforward creatures on this planet at the same time. They at least didn’t care if his quirk could affect them. 

Every Saturday he would go to the park near his house for Shinsou’s Special Healing Time (As titled by his mother), petting the stray cats. After weeks of feeding them, the furry rascals learned to meow at him as if they haven’t been fed in a decade, despite him witnessing two cats devour an entire fish before sidling up to Shinsou, widening their eyes innocuously at their handy food dispenser. 

He liked that about them, that mischievous freedom. He could go days, even weeks without seeing the same cat, and suddenly one day it would be twining against his legs just the same, as if they never left.

Cats had loyal memories. Despite conventional wisdom, Shinsou has found that cats are more loyal than humans by far.

Case in fact: the tabby purring at his pant leg was looking a lot more familiar the longer it stayed there, nuzzling him.“Leon?” The striped tomcat turned its head, and instantly Shinsou knew it was the same cat he had taken care of before he left the city. Its single green eye blinked slowly at him. The cat purred hard enough to send vibrations up his leg before twining between Shinsou’s ankles and suddenly jumped forward in a sinuous motion, almost tripping him.

After walking away a few steps it turned to tilt its head as if to ask, _aren’t you coming?_

Shinsou didn’t think about it for very long. He zipped up his windbreaker and followed.

 

* * *

 

Leon, as a street-hardened cat made of muscle, was a lot more athletic than a skinny teenage boy who barely worked out. The tabby leapt from tree branch to tree branch, speeding down the small trails, crossing small bridges in a flash.

“Hey…where are you…taking me?” Shinsou panted, feeling more and more ridiculous. 

_ What is this, a Ghibli film? Leon isn’t the Baron, is he? _

Eventually, Leon led Shinsou to a small glade, and from just beyond the treeline came to sounds of a cat in distress.

“Leon, what―”

There was someone hanging upside-down off the tallest tree, a mass of long, long green hair dangling straight down as they stretched to grab a frightened kitten off the branch below them. With a single mistake, they would slip off the branch and smash their own head open on the ground.

Shinsou didn’t think. “HEY―!”

_ C’mon, answer me! The kitten can wait for a ladder! _

The person didn’t even seem to notice him, but it didn’t seem to matter. In one motion, they scooped up the kitten and toppled from the tree. Somehow―Shinsou couldn’t tell how, but somehow they twisted around in the air, like a cat themselves― and landed crouched on the grass around the tree. Shinsou ran forward, just in case he needed to stop any bleeding.

“Hey! Are you hurt?!”

They looked up through the forest-green curtain of their hair, and Shinsou’s heart stopped.

Piercing gold, like big cats. Like a lion. 

The (boy? girl?) person smiled at him and Leon, who had somehow climbed up to his shoulder in a single leap. “Did you get help, little one?”

His brain was still short-circuiting. "Ah-bwuh." was the only thing that made it out of his dumbstruck mouth.

"They say you are very kind, the cats." The person smiled. "Midoriya Izuku. Call me Izuku."

"S-Shinsou Hitoshi." 

"You look out of breath." A slender hand patted the grassy ground beside them. "Sit down, before you pass out."

And suddenly, Shinsou was once again aware of the way his sides pulled painfully. With a huff, he collapsed onto his backside onto the grass.

The longer he sat there, recovering, the more he noticed the way the animals reacted to Izuku. Even some of the most wary animals―was that a  _fawn?_ How?!― seemed to trust the other implicitly. 

So, there Shinsou was, dreamily petting a baby deer. The entire situation was kinda surreal, actually.

He didn't even notice the sky starting to get dark before the last cat snuffled at his fingers, purred like an engine, and then left him with Izuku.

The green-haired person stretched their arms over their head, like a cat. "Come back tomorrow."

"W-what? Why?"

"You need it, don't you?" Izuku said. Bluntly, but still kind, not a trace of judgement, with a beast-like innocence. "You can come here any time."

Shinsou felt his mouth twist. "You...you wouldn't want me hanging around. Not with my quirk. I―I brainwash people. That's a villain's―" his voice broke. "―A villain's quirk."

Izuku just turned, and stared at Shinsou with those golden eyes. Shinsou stared back, and gradually came to a startling conclusion:

_ This person―this person is just like an animal. They―they don't _ care.  _They don't care what I could do as long as I didn't harm them or the animals._

"Come back tomorrow." Izuku repeated, and Shinsou nodded numbly.

He did come back.

 

* * *

 

 

That was the start of a very strange friendship comprised of mostly petting various animals (usually cats, dogs, and on some special occasions, other less common critters― Izuku denied it, but Shinsou was  _sure_ that was a wolverine) and getting into trouble. God, he has never ran so much much and so hard in his  _life_.

(But...it was fun. Really fun.)

Shinsou Hitoshi was a person badly in need of a friend, any friend.

Who better to be that friend than a weapon whose legend is that of being a friend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOCIAL LINK GO!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> The funny thing is, since Shinsou gets into shenanigans with Izuku so much, he learns valuable skills that drastically alter the results of the U.A. Entrance Exams. In other words, Mineta gets yeeted.
> 
>  **Next chapter** : In which Mud Fights Sludge. Although it's less of a fight and more of a beatdown. And then they punch All Might for being stupid, because that was the way Enkidu learned to deal with Gil's stupidity―by punching the stupid person.
> 
> Somehow, that gets Izuku into the U.A. Entrance Exams.


	4. aggroing a raid boss 150 levels over your cap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shigaraki might have aggroed a raid boss without his guild. He then finds out that he may have inadvertently Leeroy Jenkins'd himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Presence Detection A+:** The highest rank of presence detection. It is possible to sense presences from long distances by using the land as a medium.
> 
> **Consummated Shape A:** By making use of the magic energy of the land, they restore themself to their former shape. So long as there is a supply of magic energy from the land, Izuku’s body (which has been converted to the clay of the Age of Gods) will never collapse.
> 
> A powerful regeneration・restoration ability that is completely unprecedented.
> 
> However, the soul is a different matter.

He was trembling with excitement as he stepped out of the black mist onto the concrete rooftop of a building with line of sight to UA. "You should've seen their faces!" Shigaraki laughed as he used four fingers to grab the pair of binoculars Kurogiri handed to him, pinky sticking out to prevent disintegration.

It was chaos, simply chaos at the gates still, the heroes attempting to restore order to the reporters all rushing at the now-nonexistent defenses. 

He idly panned the building, trying to see if he could catch a glimpse of All Might when—

—There was someone standing at the top of the building, barely a dot at this distance to the naked eye. There should be no way for them to see him.

A faint alarm bell began ringing at the back of Shigaraki's mind. He frowned and trained the binoculars at the speck of white.

The person was balanced on the railing fencing in the rooftop, bare feet on the metal as they looked out at the commotion, their long green hair blowing like a pennant in the wind. They weren't wearing an UA uniform, but there was a familiar red tie thrown over the person's white robe-like clothes. In a moment of hysteria, he realized that it wasn't tied correctly.

Then, right in front of Shigaraki's astonished eyes, they deliberately turned and faced... _him._ Golden eyes met red, and he stared, frozen, as the person's unnaturally flawless face smiled.

_They were looking at_ him.

Those pale lips mouthed the words:

_There you are._

"Kurogiri." Shigaraki said, calmer than he actually was. "KUROGIRI! We've been seen!"

The teleporter turned to him, shocked. "What?! How?! We're almost one and a half kilometers away!"

"Need to go, now now  _now!_ " He yelled as the person let themselves fall off the roof, landing on the ground safely. There was no doubt that they were on their way.

There was the familiar disorientating blur of teleportation, and he stumbled on the hardwood floor of Kurogiri's bar.

"What the hell was that?!"

Shigaraki was already stomping down the hall towards the communication relays.

"I need to talk to Sensei. There's a midboss."

 

* * *

 

"Noumu! Kill Eraserhead!" He shouted, and the hulking goliath raised its huge fists, ready to bring them down in an apocalyptic crash against the underground hero's head. 

Props to the man; he turned his head just enough to prevent dying. It still grazed the man's cheek, leaving a wide bloody welt.

Hands wrapped around Aizawa's neck, and despite his busted arm he scrabbled at it, fighting for more than just his life.

Then, footsteps. The sound of someone walking towards them.

"This doesn't seem very fair," Midoriya's voice said from above him and Aizawa wanted to scream because  _Problem Child what are you doing?!_

"I see someone slipped through; Kurogiri, didn't you teleport all of the meddling kids away?" 

"I did. Perhaps I wasn't through enough."

"That doesn't matter. I can't wait to see the look on All Might's face when he arrives to the bodies of his precious students," Shigaraki cackled. With a leap, he grabbed the kid's face and  _squeezed,_ all five fingers gripping firmly. The dumbass didn't even try to dodge.

He felt flesh give way under his hands, and he grinned as blood began dripping through the cracks of his fingers, staining his nails crimson.

"Lucky! The midboss out of the way so early. Speedrun strats really work, huh?"

"NO!" Aizawa yelled, struggling to get up, clutching at his wounded arm. The underground hero fought, but he was too late and they all knew it.

Then, impossibly—

Midoriya's lips curved into a smile under the villain's hand. In a flash, they had Shigaraki's wrist in an iron grip.

_"I've got you."_ They bared their canines like a wolf; blood had dripped past their lip, staining their teeth. 

"You." Shigaraki muttered. His wrist was going numb.

Somehow, their smile got wider. Scarier. " _Me._ "

_Something_ collided with his chest with meteoric speed. 

_What—_

(Later in the hideout, he would trace a shaking finger over the fist-sized bruise, right above his heart.)

The perfect amount of force was used. Any more and his ribs would have been pulverized—but it was just enough to send the teenage villain flying into Kurogiri. His entire body smashed into the warper, and they both went tumbling across the field.

The Noumu turned its head to look at its master. Then, it set its sights on the green-haired person walking closer and closer.

The entire upper half of their face was steaming flesh, an open wound still streaming with fresh blood. But it didn't flow like blood; like a gaping maw closing, the tissue of Midoriya's face turned viscous, folding in on itself. It shifted from flesh to mud, before constituting new cheekbones. Bulbous growths formed into eyeballs, bright golden irises staring right at Shigaraki, before eye sockets and eyelids formed around them. 

All of them still at the center of USJ watched in stunned silence as Midoriya continued walking closer to the Noumu, as if it hadn't been about to kill their teacher. As if half their face hadn't been vaporized moments ago.

"N-no...g't.....'way....." Aizawa slurred through his haze of pain. There was a pause in footsteps, then— a light touch against a part of his cheek that somehow wasn't injured. Then, the footsteps continuing. The grip the Noumu had on his neck relaxed as his student came closer and closer, Aizawa's stomach dropping— _what were they_ doing?!

A moment of stillness. The Noumu motionless. Midoriya as well.

Then, as if soothing an animal, they put their hands on its face. Midoriya had to tiptoe to reach, but they did regardless.

"Little one," they said. "Little one, won't you lie down and rest for a while?"

"What is he..." They all stared as the Noumu, ever so gently... curled its face into Midoriya's hands, nuzzling them as if seeking comfort. It chirped, then knelt onto the cold dirt before circling and lying down on its hands. Midoriya merely kept petting it, the machine of death and destruction practically a dog under their fingers. Dirt crawled up from the ground, gently covering the gargantuan mass of twisted flesh like a blanket. Effectively, locking it in place.

"...We're retreating, Shigaraki." Kurogiri said, and for once, the leader of the League of Villains didn't feel much like protesting.

Moments after the two leaders left through a portal to let their henchmen and a biological weapon to fend for themselves, the wall of the USJ collapsed, unable to impede All Might as he smashed his way in.

"HAVE NO FEAR, FOR I AM..." He trailed off. "...here?"

Midoriya Izuku put a finger to their lips, hushing him as they settled a wreath of blue flowers around the sleeping Noumu's head, framing its exposed brain. Aizawa groaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Flower of Humbaba** : "The very simplicity of this gift reached its heart."
> 
> Anyway have this I'm tired
> 
> All Might's first meeting with Izuku next time I promise
> 
> Happy April Fools, where I am the fool


	5. eat humble mud pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yagi Toshinori social links with three kids and realizes that he's a giant dumbass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter went through like four variations, that's why I took so long in updating this.
> 
> (Let Enkidu say fuck)

Yagi shielded his eyes as he looked up to the sky, the clouds touched with sunset golds and crimsons. "Musutafu's sunsets look the same, huh."

He snorted to himself. "Of course they would. Why wouldn't they?"

Maybe the stress was getting to him. The move from Tokyo back to his hometown filled with memories, press attention (not that it's ever abated, really), his own deteriorating condition...

He tried to not think about that last one. If he thought about it, then the beast looming at the edges of his own psyche would push its way into the light.

_It's alright. Smile, Yagi Toshinori. You can power through this._

Clutching at the stitch in his side, Yagi cut across the park near his apartment. This route took him towards the more isolated parts of the park, past the playgrounds and well-trodden trails. The wood railing was cool under his palm as he crossed the little creek, his shoes tapping against the bridge.

It was late February, so the sakura hadn't begun blooming yet, although there were signs of budding. He huffed and puffed his way toward his usual bench; as the days wore on, Yagi found himself more and more breathless when he made it here to the quiet little copse of trees.

He blew out a cloud of steam, watching it drift and disappear into the cold spring air as he leaned his head on the wood backrest, staring at the waning light through still-bare branches. Worries rose in him, eerie bubbles of foreboding, but Yagi pushed them all down, the way he's been doing for years. 

"Don't think about it." 

A rustle from above him. Yagi's eyes snapped open.

"Who's there?"

A plaintive meow, almost sheepish, came from the cat trapped in the tree he'd been staring at. It's coloring was red-gold in the sunlight, and Yagi wondered how he could miss such a vivid color in the first place when it was almost directly over his head.

(He was more out of it than he'd like to admit.)

Yagi Toshinori wasn't a hero for nothing; he did like to help. The cat didn't fight him when he carefully reached a hand towards it, instead nuzzling at his fingers.

"A charmer and a troublemaker both, huh?" He said, charmed despite himself. "Where's your human? Or are you a stray?"

"Leon!" Someone called from below them, and a purple-haired student still in his gakuran walked into the copse. He looked up, and raised a hand hesitantly to wave up at Yagi, who awkwardly raised a hand back.

"Stay right there, I'll be right down." Yagi carefully made his way down the tree, Leon purring like an engine at his side.

"Saving the shitty cat huh?" Another student huffed as he walked into the copse, carrying a plastic bag and two backpacks. He snorted as his red eyes glared disdainfully at the cat, who blew him off, turning away with an air of superiority only a cat could muster. "You son of a bitch! 

"Kacchan, a bitch is a female dog." Their friend walked in, and Yagi blinked. He'd met a lot of different people in his career, but even he had to do a double take at the (girl? boy?) person in a schoolgirl uniform, their golden eyes laughing as they brushed a long lock of green hair away from their face.

"Thanks for saving this asshole," the purple-haired teen said fondly. He extended a hand for him to shake, and Yagi did, smiling back.

"Any time."

 

* * *

 

Ever since then, the three middle schoolers took to visiting the bench when Yagi was there, bringing with them the chatter of young things and cheap convenience store snacks.

It was a strange friendship: a dying man and three kids. People that should have had nothing in common, and yet—

(The truth: Yagi Toshinori needed this. Not All Might, but Yagi Toshinori.)

 

* * *

 

“Toshinori, you can’t keep doing this.” Nezu’s concern was clear in his voice. “You know it’s true. Perhaps you should reconsider my offer—”

“Old friend, I appreciate you reserving a spot on your staff for me, but… I am still needed as the Number One Hero. You know that’s also true. I can’t just leave.”

“Damn it, why must you be so stubborn? I’m not telling you to just up and disappear into the ether! Better to phase out your role now than for you to collapse!”

“I can’t. You know I can’t.” Toshinori ran a thin hand through his bangs. “There’s been disturbing stirrings in the underworld lately, and you know we can’t afford any eruptions of villain activity, with my condition as it is. If I decrease my presence more than I already have, then things will come to a head.”

“I’m just asking you to slow down a bit.” The principal sighed, paws rubbing at his temples. “Alright. Just promise me you’ll consider it.”

“...Thank you, Nezu.”

 

* * *

 

Bakugou Katsuki didn't even bat an eye at the sight of his best friend jumping out from the window, only sighing exasperatedly when he saw the backpack still on its hook. "Oi! Izuku you dumbass! You forgot your bag again! Oh, who the fuck am I kidding, you never remember the damn thing!"

 

* * *

 

In another world, All Might would have been on time to capture a certain villain under a certain bridge, rescuing a young boy that would become his successor. Instead, tracking the escaped villain took a lot longer than he thought—and he would have known, if he had been paying attention to the minutes ticking by.

In another world, Bakugou Katsuki would have been the one emptying the contents of the bag over the school pond, leaving a young aspiring hero to fish his boyhood dreams from the water. Instead, he simply picked the leather bag up and ran after his friend, catching up in three minutes, huffing and cursing, just in time to see the third person of their little party meet up with them as well.

In this world, a single conversation and an act of friendship delayed a hero and sped up three friends just enough.

Watch.

 

* * *

 

Three middle school kids walked on, unaware of turning destiny.

“Man, that guy sure is useless as a homeroom teacher. That told us fuck all on what to do to actually become heroes!” Katsuki sniffed, personally affronted. “All he did was fawn over me and awkwardly skip over you, Deku.”

“Better than mine,” Hitoshi said, a tired twist at the corner of his mouth. “The entire class just stared and tried to pretend I didn’t exist.”

Izuku blinked at the two boys, head tilted. “I thought a hero is something you were or became, and not something that can be taught.” They hummed, their bare feet balanced on the thin metal barrier on the side of the road. With three quick steps, they jumped forward onto the sidewalk under the underpass. “Why, some of the ones that slew beasts were beasts themselves. They were still heroes, even if they never went to a school or learned...”

“If that’s your way of making me feel better, then thanks. Still gonna bulk up for the entrance exam though. Lookit these bad boys,” Hitoshi said flatly, flexing an arm with clearly nothing to flex.

Katsuki grinned, flexing his own considerably more muscled arm. “Meet me out back in the parking lot at three, nerd,” he joked, before capturing Hitoshi into a noogie.

Izuku ignored the ensuing good-natured ribbing, instead turning their eyes towards the dark patch under the overpass. Their friends gradually realized that they had stopped walking and tensed, going quiet.

"You aren't being very subtle, you know," they said, a razor edge to their voice as they stared at the manhole cover. "Might as well come out now."

At first, a moment of stillness.

Then, a sludge oozed from the seams of the manhole, stretching up in putrid slime, forming what could be called limbs. Crazed, angry eyes glared at the three of them, the villain's plans foiled. "Seems like someone is too smart for their own good," a mouth that formed from the sludge smiled, a baring of the teeth. "That doesn't matter. Now just shut up and be my hostages, won't you?"

"Hah? The fuck we'd do that!" Katsuki growled, his palms beginning to glow cherry red. Shinsou nodded ever so slightly in Izuku's direction.

"Ah, I've heard of you—you're the Scum Villain, aren't you?" The purple-haired teenager tapped a fist into his open palm in mocking epiphany.

The villain did not like that.

"Alright you brat, I've done a  _lot_ of shit to get the title of the Sludge Villain, and I  _demand_ your fear!"

"No, you command my fascination." Izuku looked at the pile of sludge curiously, like a wolf seeing a particularly peculiar insect. They tilted their head at him, reaching out to poke the mass of writhing sludge.

The villain grinned, a ghastly sneer. "Thanks for volunteerin' kid! You're not my type, but that won't matter in forty-five seconds, so don't struggle and I'll make this quick..."

"Hm..." The green-haired middle schooler looked down at the mud crawling rapid up their arm. "...No. I don't want to."

With a calm that bewildered the villain, their flesh unraveled under the sludge man's grip, surging up and outwards like a tidal wave and enveloping him instead in grey mud. 

"Wha—?!"

The purple sludge struggled and stretched, but it was futile. The smile on Izuku's face remained unchanged even as they molded their body into a prison.

Suddenly, there was someone else there.

_"DELAWARE SMASH!"_

Galeforce winds buffeted the small overpass, blowing Katsuki and Hitoshi off their feet. In an impressive display of reflexes, Katsuki had snagged Hitoshi's wrist, the other hand flaring out with red-hot explosions to counter the impact. They both landed on their feet, unhurt but winded.

Izuku, on the other hand, barely moved an inch, still leisurely trapping the villain with tendrils of clay over sludge.

"This is getting annoying. Do either of you have a bottle?"

Both Katsuki and Hitoshi shook their heads, staring in shock. 

Someone coughed awkwardly behind them.

The Pillar of Peace himself stood there in the mouth of the overpass, wide,  _wide_ shoulders slightly faltering with embarrassment. He held out a pickle jar.

 _"ALL MIGHT?!"_ Izuku's two friends yelled in unison.

At least, they did, until he doubled over in a puff of smoke.

 _"OLD MAN YAGI?!"_ That one was all Katsuki.

"...Damn it," coughed the skeleton swimming in a hero costume suddenly much too big for his rail-thin frame, pickle jar still outstretched.

On this day, All Might's image to two impressionable youths of society has been irrevocably tarnished.

 

* * *

 

Three middle school kids press-ganged the Number One Hero into sitting down at their familiar park bench isolated behind a copse of sakura trees. This too was turning destiny.

"So let me get this straight," Bakugou said, taking a bite out of the limited edition spicy umaibo he dug out of his schoolbag. "You got hurt years ago in a villain fight, and now you can only keep up with being All Might a few hours a day?"

"I don't know why I'm even telling you this," Yagi ran a bony hand through his hair, the strands catching slightly at the callouses and scars on his hands. "None of you have anything to do with this matter." He lets the hand fall slowly, intertwining his fingers and squeezing into a fist, the knuckles turning white.

Shinsou snorted, a stick of pocky balanced in his teeth. "Izuku here is the king of butting in on people's problems that they've no business being involved in, you should know that at this point. And since we've stuck around them long enough, we've gotten into the habit as well. Sometimes it's easier to tell someone you don't interact with as a hero."

"Yes, but this is..."

Midoriya smiled in that enigmatic way of theirs, the one where you could not begin to guess what they're thinking. Their bare heels tapped against the bark of the tree they sat in, surrounded by leaves. "We're not going to tell anyone."

"T-this is classified information!"

"As I said. We're not going to tell anyone." Midoriya's smile didn't change. "I said that already, didn't I?"

Bakugou tilted his head back onto the bench, staring up into the twilight orange sky. "Don't worry about us blabbing. You've done real good in the world, and it would be real shitty of us to betray your confidences."

"I..." He let go of a huff of air. "I don't want to put any of you in danger."

Something about the way Midoriya's eyes suddenly snapping to his made Yagi shift on the bench. 

"...Much like someone else, Mr. Yagi can be quite an idiot it seems." Midoriya chuckled.

"Oi Deku, I'm right fucking here."

Yagi laughed, and felt something in his chest lift more than it has in years.

 

* * *

 

It was an unusually cold day in April when things came to a head. 

"Oi, remember to take your meds old man," Young Bakugou chucked a bottle of water at his head which he barely caught. The tempestuous boy had a caring streak a mile wide and buried fifty miles deep under anger. "Don't tell me you forgot to eat shit again, you know you're not supposed to take that on an empty stomach."

"I had...food." Yagi said awkwardly and tried to hide the guilt, even as the blond cursed and dug around in the plastic bag, triumphantly fishing out a sandwich. Yagi caught that one as it flew through the air, prepared this time.

"Eat that or I shall be insulted." Young Shinsou said around his own mouthful of senbei, the rice cracker crunching as he chewed. "Don't make me mind control you into it."

"Hitoshi's been getting better at his Quirk ever since he figured it out. He can at least get you to eat a sandwich before you snap out of it." Young Midoriya hung by their knees from the branch, their long green hair hanging down before swinging up and lounging on the tree bough, like a lion in the savannah. 

There was a stretch of peaceful silence, the four of them eating and calmly enjoying the sunset. The three of them all kept an eye on the ailing hero to ensure he finished the food. There was something in the air that Yagi couldn't quite put a finger on, until:

"Not to tell you what to do or anything, but shouldn't you be cutting back your hours? You look progressively more tired the more we see you." Young Shinsou said, and Yagi had to bite back the cry of  _you hypocrite_  at the dark and purple bags under the boy's eyes. 

"I'm alright, Young Shinsou. I should make the most of what I can still do in my condition."

"But...can't you, I don't know, take it easier? I get there's a lot of people to save, but the strain of your Quirk, it's—"

 _Killing you,_ he almost said. Yagi tried to not think about it. He sighed, running a bony hand through his thin hair.

"Young Shinsou, without a Quirk, I can't do much of anything. It's much too dangerous to work without a functioning power." Yagi stared down at his hands. "I will fight as long as this Quirk lasts. After that...I'm afraid I cannot continue. There would be no point, so I must use what time remaining I have—"

"But you've got all sorts of other things you can still do, right? That can't be all there is to being a hero. A Quirk can't be all there is to being a hero!" Shinsou yelled, something raw and vulnerable in his voice. "If it is, then, then—what point is there for  _me?!_ "

The purple-haired middle schooler stood up from the bench, hands clenched, unaware of the tears coming down his face. "You know my Quirk. People have called me a villain before they even knew my name! If— if your Quirk is the only thing that matters in being then the Number One Hero, in being a hero at all, then  _what does that make_ me?!"

"Young Shinsou, that is not what I mean to—"

"But it is, isn't it?" Midoriya said. They landed at the base of the tree. "That's what you're saying. 'As soon as my Quirk dies, I die as a hero.' That's what you think, in your heart of hearts. 'After my body fails me, my purpose stops existing.' "

"Young Midoriya—"

They walked closer and closer, bare feet rasping against the grass. "You've confused partial loss to total defeat. Just because you're broken from your purpose—" They took the last step, face to face with Yagi's lanky, emaciated form, golden eyes meeting shadowed blues. "Doesn't mean you lie there in rubble. You're a pillar still made of stone."

 _Beasts don't make eye contact unless it's a challenge_.

They grabbed Yagi by the lapels, pulling themselves up, closer.

A strange bittersweet smile flitted across Izuku's face, so fast that if one wasn't paying attention it was impossible to see. "A Chain, broken from its purpose, can still become the lynchpin to someone's entire world. What's with those self-defeating words, Pillar of Peace? You may be losing the ability to do one thing, but that does not mean you crumble altogether. You pull your pieces together and rebuild a purpose!" 

_"A true hero saves not only their lives, but also their hearts."_

_Nana would be lecturing me much the same._

These kids—they may be inexperienced. They may be naive. They may not have a piece of plastic certifying them as Pro Heroes. But their worry, their care—every bit of food they bought for him, every look of concern, every word. They've beaten back the beast with golden hearts as bright as sunset. For the first time in years, Yagi Toshinori stared the beast at the edges of his psyche in the eyes: a challenge. 

Toshinori swallowed, mouth dry. "Despite all my mistakes, young ones—do you think I am still—"

_The Pillar of Peace?_

Shinsou Hitoshi wiped away the tears welling at the corner of his eyes, laughing as he said with absolute confidence:

"You still can be a hero!"

Under the bright sunset sky, Yagi Toshinori laughed and shed tears he had kept inside for longer than he had thought. 

 

* * *

 

"...It's me. Sorry I haven't answered any of your calls."

"......."

"Yes...about that. I think I'm ready to take Nezu up on his offer. And...on yours."

"......!......?"

"What changed my mind?...Tell you what. How about I see you at the usual place? My treat."

"......"

"A-alright. And...thanks, Daichi."

_This sunset, with his tear-blurred vision, looked like dawn over a long night._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yagi finally talks to his ex. Sir Nighteye is going to rip him a new one, and then be secretly grateful about the change of heart because he too cares a lot about This Dumbass™
> 
> Izuku is so angry about Yagi being so defeated about his purpose because they _empathize_. That's the most potent kind of anger.
> 
> Props to whoever got the Hellsing Ultimate Abridged reference.
> 
> Next Chapter: Sir Nighteye wants to meet those three crazy kids that somehow got the most stubborn man in the world to change his mind. He gets more than he bargained for.


End file.
